When I was a little girl my mother would tell me I could do anything I put my mind to. I internalized these words and over the years have found the profound truth of this statement to reveal itself to me on deeper and deeper levels. One of the first experiences I had that opened my eyes to the power of my mind was when I was 19 years old and started having panic attacks. I had moved out of my parent’s house and was trying to pay rent and bills for the first time. I worked at a Subway Sandwich store and though I loved that job, it hardly covered my expenses. I lived with roommates and one day when they thought I was not home I overheard one of my roommates making fun of me and making a mockery of how I was struggling to make my way without the safety net of “mommy and daddy”. I thought this person was my friend and needless to say my feelings were deeply hurt. I left the house and went for a drive and on the highway I started to feel my chest getting heavy and my heart beating wildly. I felt terrified and thought I was going to pass out. I pulled over and after some time the intensity of the symptoms I was experiencing passed and I went on my way. I had no idea what a panic attack was and no idea I had just had one. All I knew was that I had no idea what to do with my life and I was completely freaked out.
After that experience every time I passed that spot on the highway where the initial panic attack happened I would have the same experience and have to pull over to calm down and let the panic attack pass. I went to the doctor after about a week and that is when I discovered I was having panic attacks. I remember so clearly the callous words of the doctor who told me he could put me on medication that would help that I would possibly have to take for the rest of my life or (and this part he said like it had about a 1% chance of working) I could get myself a self help book and try to use the suggested strategies. I said thank you for offering medications but I would rather use the strategies from a self help book. This is where the journey began.
I bought a book that had probably 300 pages and found one page that had a couple statements to repeat to myself when experiencing an attack and a breathing exercise to do while saying the statements. This one page gave me all the information I needed to make all the change in the world. I don’t remember the exact statement but something along the lines of “this is a panic attack, it will not kill you, you have gotten through this before and you will get through this now”. Then I would breathe in while counting to five, hold my breath while counting to five, and then breath out while counting to five. I also got some herbal pills that were supposed to help (which I later decided did nothing but a placebo effect). I changed my thoughts to believe that the things I was doing were going to work and guess what? It totally worked.
I continued to have panic attacks with decreased frequency over the next year or two. Now at this point in my life I cannot even remember the last time I had a panic attack. By raising my awareness of my automatic thoughts, learning to stop them and replace them with more helpful thoughts, I was able to overcome my anxiety and open the door to a life where I use my thoughts to create the life I desire. There have been plenty of ups and downs on my journey but as I have grown emotionally and mentally I have learned to use my hardships as well as my triumphs to help guide my thought processes to redirect my thoughts as needed to reach my goals and live my dreams.
There are several strategies I use to help develop my ability to choose the thoughts I desire and redirect the thoughts I don’t want. I love to read books that provide guided exercises for self-reflection and goal making. I find by doing exercises that get me to evaluate where I am at in my life, I am able to see clearly thought patterns that are helping and those that are harming my ability to reach my goals. Doing such exercises also helps raise my awareness of automatic thoughts that may be holding me back that were unbeknownst to me. It is crucial for an individual to gain control of their thoughts that they become aware of those insidious, usually deeply ingrained, automatic thoughts and learn to challenge them and ultimately banish and replace them with helpful empowering thoughts. Some great books I have used include: The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, Quantum Success: The Astounding Science of Wealth and Happiness by Sandra AnneTaylor , and any materials written by William Glasser on Choice Theory.
Another strategy I use is to say daily affirmations. Part of using thoughts to create a life you desire involves getting thoughts to penetrate into your subconscious mind and not only live in your conscious mind. Our conscious thoughts are like a car alternator. They keep the mind (car) running but the real source of the power is in the subconscious mind (battery). This is why simply thinking positive alone does not work to change the circumstances of an individual’s life.
The automatic thoughts I spoke of earlier come from something called “core beliefs”. Core beliefs are developed early in life and generally are beliefs that our childhood selves decided are true and we lock into our subconscious belief system at a very young age. The problem with this is that as children we do not have the maturity to discern if the messages we are receiving are accurate or if we are interpreting them accurately. For example, a child is innocently playing and singing to themselves when their parent comes home grumpy from a bad day at work, see’s the child having a great old time and out of resentment due to their personal level of unhappiness from work and other stressors says to the child, “stop that awful singing, all you are doing is making noise”. The child has no ability to understand the parent was speaking out of misdirected anger and that the comment reflects nothing on how well the child can or cannot sing. All the child hears is that their singing is awful and they are sad for upsetting their parent. As a result the child develops a core belief that they cannot sing, a belief they carry into adulthood.
We all carry core beliefs we developed in childhood into adulthood. Some are beneficial and we should keep them such as my belief from early on that we can do anything we put our minds to. Others are negative and completely invalid to who we are as adults. They cause us much suffering in the form of depression, anxiety, lack of confidence, and self-deprecation. These are the beliefs we need to challenge and learn to reframe in a way that suits who we want to be as adults. Core beliefs are deeply ingrained and take persistence and focused effort to overcome. Individuals who have reached a point in life where they find themselves consumed by negative beliefs about themselves or who can no longer function well enough to accomplish daily tasks will likely need professional help from a therapist or counselor to help them get in touch with and change negative core beliefs. However, all individuals will benefit at challenging their core beliefs by using books such as the ones I mentioned with exercises to do self-reflection and then replacing those beliefs with positive affirmations.
I have a morning routine of saying about affirmations everyday that support who I want to be and how I want to think about my life and circumstances. I visualize as I recite the affirmations myself already having acquired the state of being or material objects I desire as I say the affirmations. I also make vision boards with images cut out from magazines that reflect things I wish to manifest and sit in front of my vision board while I recite my affirmations. It is amazing how many things have come to be that I have created through focused thought, affirmations, and written word. Some examples of this are my moving to Hawaii, meeting the love of my life, getting a job I love, an amazing home to live in, a really cool motorcycle my sweet love packs me around on, and a deep sense and belief in myself that I can create the life I desire.
One last strategy I use is conscious thought replacement. I still have self-doubt and worrying thoughts that creep in and try to plant their seeds. This especially occurs if an upsetting event happens like an argument with my partner or a frustrating day at work. It does not matter that I am an optimist, that I do daily affirmations, or that I have knowledge about the destructive power of negative thoughts; they still creep in and try to sabotage my peace of mind. When this happens I use a simple self-talk strategy. I say to myself “thank you thought for your concern but you are not helpful and you can go away now”. If it is an especially persistent thought that does not go away after I dismiss it, I replace the thought with something more helpful. For example, maybe I think my partner is treating my unfairly and is a jerk. Instead I will tell myself that I love my partner and he loves me, arguments happen in relationships and we will be able to resolve the issue and move forward just like we have done every other time we have gotten upset with each other.
The bottom line is we can and do manifest in our lives what we put our minds to. We get to create the day every single morning when we wake up. What will you create for yourself today? Let me know or share other ways you harness the power of thought.